The Slash Appendices
by Pervy Hobbit Fancier
Summary: CH.2:LEGOLASxGIMLI! This fic contains various slash pairings. It's harmless though. Note the 'G' rating. There will be many chapters containing everything from hobbit slash to horse slash! Hope you enjoy!
1. GANDALFxPIPPIN

A/N: Hello everyone! I don't own "The Lord of the Rings"; never have, never will. This fic is going to be many chapters long and it will contain many different slash pairings. I've been reading the LOTR trilogy again and noticed several scenes that I consider to be potentially slashy. My favorite characters are Merry, Pippin and Boromir and my favorite pairing is Legolas/Gimli. So you'll be seeing a lot of them. But don't worry. I will include many other characters from Lord of the Rings and I will definitely include all the members of the Fellowship. Basically all I'm doing is extending certain scenes of Tolkien's novels. Any words that are within the little asterisks (**...**) come directly from Tolkien and I will site which chapter they come from. Hope you enjoy the fic. Don't forget to review!

  
  


"The Slash Appendices"

  
  


**Pippin was roused by Gandalf. Candles were lit in their chamber, for only a dim twilight came through the windows; the air was heavy as with approaching thunder.

"What is the time?" said Pippin yawning.

"Past the second hour," said Gandalf. "Time to get up and make yourself presentable. You are summoned to the Lord of the City to learn your new duties."

"And will he provide breakfast?"

"No! I have provided it: all that you will get till noon. Food is now doled out by order."

Pippin looked ruefully at the small loaf and (he thought) very inadequate pat of butter which was set out for him, beside a cup of thin milk. "Why did you bring me here?" he said.

"You know quite well," said Gandalf. "To keep you out of mischief; and if you do not like being here, you can remember that you brought it on yourself." Pippin said no more. ("The Siege of Gondor", The Return of the King)**

  
  


He then lay back down and placed his pillow over his head, feeling more miserable than ever. Why did he have to look into that stupid palantir? Why didn't he just wait till morning when Merry wasn't so tired so they could look into it together? Atleast then they would've been equally guilty and Gandalf might not have separated them from one another. Why did he have to pick the stupid thing up in the first place? Never before had Pippin cursed his Tookish curiosity but he couldn't help but do so now. Where was Merry? He'd give just about anything to be back at Isengard, being content with simply smoking his pipe and snoozing among the rubble of the broken gate while Merry constantly babbled on about the ents and the strange yet very pleasing flavor of the ent-draughts. He was dreading going to see Denethor and he sincerely regretted ever offering him his sword! Why did he do it? At the time it seemed the kind of thing that Merry would do but he wasn't Merry. He let out a muffled groan of frustration under his pillow. Why did he do it? 

"Stupid Merry!" he muttered. "Where in the world are you and why would you put such a stupid idea into my head?"

Gandalf then interrupted his thoughts and pulled the pillow from Pippin's face. "Make haste! The Lord of Gondor is waiting for you," he said with a hint of aggravation in his voice.

"Do not be hasty, that is my motto!" said Pippin defiantly before hastily grabbing the pillow from Gandalf and hastily placing it over his face again.

"For the love of all that is good and sacred! Pippin, you are the most hasty creature I have ever met! Now get up before I throw you out the window!" But Pippin did not stir. Gandalf cursed under his breath. "Why do you have to be so difficult!" he shouted. "You are the most difficult hobbit on the face of the earth! Sometimes you make me so angry! I could just rip out my beard!" But Pippin lay motionless. It seemed as if he didn't hear a word Gandalf was shouting. But Gandalf knew better. Pippin was just ignoring him. He then snatched the pillow away from Pippin and hurled it out the window. Then he stomped to the side of the bed, grabbed Pippin by the shoulders, and stood him up. "Get dressed! Eat your breakfast! Get ready! And keep your promise to the Denethor!" At this he flung some clothes into Pippin's arms. But Pippin stood there motionless and for the first time Gandalf noticed that he was crying. He let out a heavy sigh and then kneeled down so he was face to face with the hobbit. "What's wrong?" he asked, gently placing a hand on Pippin's shoulder.

"Where's Merry?" choked Pippin.

"He's with Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli: perfectly safe, I'm sure."

"Why did you have to separate us?"

"I already told you: to keep you out of mischief. Anyways, you'll see him soon enough. But now you really have to get ready. We're going to be late!" Gandalf then walked to the door. "I'm going to check on Shadowfax. I want you to be ready by the time I'm back." At that he closed the door, leaving Pippin alone with his thoughts. But Pippin didn't seem to heed Gandalf's words at all. He simply stood there thinking for the next twenty minutes until Gandalf came back into the room. 

When he saw that Pippin still wasn't ready, Gandalf was furious. "Peregrin Took, what are you thinking!" he roared. "I know this whole experience is very hard for you! And I know you miss Merry but we're expected to be at the Tower Hall in a few minutes! We don't have time for this! Hurry up and get ready!" But Pippin continued to stand in the middle of the room, staring blankly down at the floor. Gandalf felt as if he could explode with anger. "Pippin! Come on! We have to go! Now!" But Pippin simply stared at Gandalf, refusing to move. This was just too much! Pippin could just about be the most irritating person in the world! "How does Merry do it: deal with you every day? I just don't understand it!" At that he began banging his head against the hard stone wall and muttering to himself "Why me? Why me? Why me?"

"Stupid Gandalf!" Pippin whispered under his breath. 

Gandalf then harshly turned around and glared at the hobbit. "What did you say?" he asked, obviously very peeved that Pippin had called him stupid when he was the one who wasn't getting ready and was going to make them both late.

"I said: Stupid Gandalf!" Pippin spat. He then glared defiantly back at the wizard and continued, "You can pretend that weren't happy to see me and Merry when you first came to Isengard! But I know that you were just as relieved to see the two of us as we were to see you! It wouldn't have killed you to show us a little common courtesy, you know."

"What are you talking about?" Gandalf then waited a few moments but Pippin gave no reply. He then rolled his eyes and let out a heavy sigh. "Look. I'm sorry I called you a tom-fool of a Took! I'm sorry I didn't say that I was happy to see you! In fact, I was very happy to see you. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings! But can we please talk about this later! We really have to go!" he said exasperated. Pippin simply stuck his tongue out at him. "Why do you have to be so damn difficult? You're the one who offered your services to Denethor! You were the one who got yourself into this mess! You were the one who came along with the rest of us when you had every excuse to stay behind! Usually I'm all for hobbits going on adventures, but right now you are really driving my patience!" 

Gandalf continued to yell at the hobbit for, what seemed to Pippin, atleast an hour. But in all actuality it was only about two minutes. It was getting rather tiresome. He needed to figure out a way to get Gandalf to shut the hell up. He could just hurry up and get dressed, but where was the fun in that. . . . And then it hit him: the most devilish scheme he could think of. For the first time ever Pippin realized how much of a manipulative little bastard he could be. And he was definitely going to use it to his advantage. He was going to weasel his way out of trouble and definitely take Gandalf by surprise.

With an impish smirk painted across his face, Pippin found himself walking over to where Gandalf was standing. He pulled up a chair right in front of the wizard and climbed onto it so he could see him eye to eye. And then without warning he placed his hands onto Gandalf's cheeks and with a strength that he didn't think his little hobbit arms possessed he pulled Gandalf into a kiss. It was short. It was sweet. (A/N: hehe . . . Short and Sweet: Just like Gimli! *swoon* ...Don't look at me like that! Gimli has fangirls too, you know. And those of you who can't appreciate him are wrong, just plain wrong!) But it definitely did the trick and Gandalf was so surprised that he could not utter another word when Pippin pulled away. Pippin beamed at the wizard and in between giggles he stated, "You're beard is itchy!" He then hopped off of the chair, hastily grabbed his clothes from where he had placed them earlier on the floor, and made his way into a closet. "I'll be dressed in a few minutes," said Pippin closing the door.

Gandalf was still so surprised by the kiss that it took him several moments to answer. "You better be dressed in less than a few minutes. Or I'm coming in their after you!" he shouted. 

"Is that a promise?" Pippin yelled from behind the door. Gandalf blushed furiously. After a few more moments Pippin opened the door and walked back into the room. Then staring up at the wizard he gave a bright toothsome smile and stated, "I forgot to tell you. Stupid Gandalf, I'm glad you're back!" 

  
  


A/N: That's the first chapter. Hope you liked it. I know it was really cheesy. All of the chapters are going to be cheesy. Every member of the Fellowship is cheesy . . . but you got to love them anyways. If there's a certain pairing that you want me to write just tell me and I'll write it as soon as I can. But the next chapter is going to be Legolas and Gimli. Don't forget to review! Thanks!


	2. LEGOLASxGIMLI

"But Arod, the horse of Rohan, refused the way, and he stood sweating and trembling in a fear that was grievous to see. Then Legolas laid his hands on his eyes and sang some words that went soft in the gloom, until he suffered himself to be led, and Legolas passed in. And there stood Gimli the Dwarf left all alone. His knees shook, and he was wroth with himself. 'Here is a thing unheard of!' he said. 'An Elf will go underground and a dwarf dare not!' With that he plunged in. But it seemed to him that he dragged his feet like lead over the threshold; and at once a blindness came upon him, even upon Gimli Gloin's son who had walked unafraid in many deep places of the world."

  
  


"Of the time that followed, one hour or many, Gimli remembered little. The others pressed on, but he was ever hindmost, pursued by a groping horror that seemed always just to seize him . . . (J.R.R. Tolkien, 'The Passing of the Grey Company').

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And then it happened. Indeed, something did seize him, something gripping his shoulder. Too petrified to make a sound, he let out a sharp gasp, his rigid body shaking uncontrollably. And as it tightened its grip over his shoulder, his legs gave way and he fell backwards. He screamed silently to himself in a panicked stupor, "Some ghastly phantom here to drag this poor paralyzed wretch to his doom! No tomb for Gimli the Dwarf. Nay! Haunted he was upon entering this cursed realm; and haunted he will remain even in death. With no other company save darkness and despair!" And after falling backwards for what seemed like an eternity, he finally landed into his phantom captor's cold and dead grip, soon to be carried away to certain doom! Only, much to his surprise, his phantom's arms seemed neither cold nor dead, quite the opposite in fact. They were warm and inviting and very much alive.

"Gimli," he heard his captor whisper comfortingly. It was the elf! Gimli's heart skipped a beat; and with it, all his fears seemed to seep out of his body. He let his tense form melt into the elf's embrace and stayed there unmoving for a long moment, very much relieved, and relatively content. He turned around gazing blindly up towards the elf. And Legolas stared down at the dwarf, studying his intense brown eyes. A bright twinkling lay upon them despite the lack of light. And suddenly the elf felt a wide smile touch his cheeks, one that no one would ever see. "Have no fear, little one," Legolas whispered. The dwarf let out the slightest rumor of a grunt in response to the 'little' comment. And at this Legolas smirked. But Gimli obviously was not amused by the remark, the elf becoming aware, despite the pitch darkness of the path, of a scowl on the dwarf's face. "Have no fear, Gimli," Legolas corrected himself, emphasizing 'Gimli' and making no mention of his height. "You are not alone. Your elf is here to tread these fearsome paths beside you. Let that be a comfort." He then knelt down so he was eye level with the dwarf. Then, lightly caressing the dwarf's cheek with the back of his soft hand, Legolas leaned forward, his face mere inches away from Gimli's. He then saw through the darkness that Gimli was blushing, but pretended not to notice. He let his hand stray to the dwarf's beard, and casually began fingering through it. Gimli's blush darkened. And Legolas smiled to himself. Then, he leaned further forward so their foreheads were touching, and began caressing the dwarf's other cheek with his own.

Then, much to Gimli's surprise, the elf plucked a single strand from his beard! But before a yelp of pain could escape from his lips, Legolas had pulled him into a deep kiss, silencing him completely for a considerably long time. Once Legolas had finally pulled away, Gimli could only stand motionlessly in shock, staring blindly up into the darkness where Legolas stood. Then, Gimli's dumbness finally left him and he ventured to ask, "Why?" Legolas reached for the dwarf's hand and folded it into his own. He began leading him through the abyss towards the rest of the company, who were, by now, very far ahead of the pair. 

"Why did I kiss you?" Legolas coyly asked.

"No," Gimli responded. "In these dark and evil times I have learned not to question a good thing. But why did you pull a hair from my beard?"

"Because I wanted to," the elf stated simply. "You have so many hairs; I didn't think you'd mind."

"But why did you want to?" Gimli questioned, staring skeptically up at his companion. 

"To have as a keepsake," explained Legolas with a bright smile. "Whenever I look upon it I'll remember the day when I kissed the young dwarf, Gimli, Gloin's son. Besides, Lock Bearer, Lady Galadriel gave you three of her golden hairs and you have so many others. I'm certain you can live without one of them."

Gimli stared up at the elf more than a little disturbed. "What are you going to do with it?"

"Well, once these dark times are over, I hope it to be set in that imperishable crystal you dwarves seem to fancy so much. It will be an heirloom of my people and I will display it so all elves of Mirkwood can gaze upon its beauty. But until then, I will keep it safely tucked away upon my person." Legolas pulled out a small brown wallet from his pocket, opened it, and placed the hair inside. "Peregrin Took is not the only one who keeps a few treasures near his skin." He reminisced the day when he, Gimli, and Aragorn had finally reunited with Merry and Pippin at Orthanc. They were all in need of some relaxation and decided to fill up their pipes, save Legolas, who never understood why these silly creatures insisted on wreathing their lungs with smoke. Unfortunately, Gimli had lost his pipe. But good ol' Pippin came to his rescue, offering him one of his extras, a treasure as precious as a ring to the noble hobbit.

The elf's thoughts were suddenly interrupted by Gimli's voice. "Is that MY pipe?" he asked, utterly horrified to find it residing next to a half-eaten piece of lembas in Legolas's open wallet. "I thought I had lost it. What are you doing with it? You don't even smoke!"

Legolas stared down at Gimli for a long awkward silent moment. "uh . . . Well, I sort of stole it from you back when I hated you." Gimli raised an eyebrow at this comment. "We were outside the doors of Moria and you carelessly placed it atop your pack. I simply couldn't resist. So I took it.

"Well, you no longer hate me, or so it would seem. Why have you never given it back?" 

"I wanted to save it as a keepsake. But you can have it back if you want." Legolas held out the little wooden pipe.

"Tell me, Master Packrat. On our journeys you have procured my pipe and my hair. Do you plan to steal and save every one of your friends' precious belongings for yourself?"

"Of course not," Legolas retorted with a smile. "Just your things!"

Gimli sighed. "Well, in that case, why don't you just hold onto my pipe for me? It will save you the labor of stealing it from me again. Besides, I still have Master Peregrin's pipe should any tobacco cross our path." The elf's smile broadened and he carefully placed the pipe back in the wallet. He then gazed in the direction from which they had come and then back down at Gimli. He tightened his grip on the dwarf's hand and whispered, "Come, dear child. We have lingered here far too long. We must catch up with the rest of the company." With that said, Legolas quickened his pace, dragging Gimli behind him.

"Why the sudden rush?" the dwarf asked.

"Oh, nothing important. It's just that . . . 'The Dead are following. I see shapes of Men and of horses, and pale banners like shreds of clouds, and spears like winter-thickets on a misty night. The Dead are following (Tolkien, The Passing of the Gray Company)," answered the elf, sweetly smiling at the dwarf. Gimli gulped in fear and began walking closer to Legolas, too afraid to look behind him.

And behind the two companions walked Elladan, surrogate kinsman of Ellesar, unnoticed. He gazed amused at the elf and the dwarf; and he thought to himself, "Some son of Thranduil he turned out to be; mingling with the dwarves! . . . Well, Legolas, you will not be the only elf having been kissed on the infamous Paths of the Dead. Two more elves will also be able to boast of such a feat. Now where in the name of goodness has Elrohir gone?" Then silently and unnoticed, Elladan ran ahead of Legolas and Gimli, in search of his twin brother! 

  
  


A/N

  
  


Sorry it took so long...it took me over a year to update...how pathetic! But I finally updated and I plan to continue updating on a regular basis.

So, I attempted to portray Legolas as the overly-chipper elf that he's supposed to be. Did I succeed? I think I did a pretty good job. And if you're confused about all that stuff I wrote about Gimli losing his pipe and Pippin giving him one of his, go back and read 'Flotsam and Jetsam' in TTT. It's not a very important scene but it's one of my favorites. I really really wanted to fit it into my fic somehow. I'm glad that I decided to make Crazy Dwarf-Stalker Legolas the mastermind behind the loss of the pipe. I, at least, thought it was amusing. I hope you did too. 

  
  


Gimlilogas and a smidgen of Elrohir/Elladan twincest: For these reasons this chapter is dedicated to Shellu, who is an avid Gimli, Legolas, Elrohir, and Elladan fan!! More people need to appreciate Gimli the way she does! He is the most under-appreciated member of the Fellowship! Way to go Shellu!

  
  


Becku, Glomp right back at ya, babe! And soon there will be an Aragorn chapter dedicated to you! It will be a good chapter where I'm nice to Aragorn...and you know how that goes against my principles. But I'll do it for you since you're Becku and since I love you. Ciao! 

  
  


Oh, and I've gotten three requests for couplings involving Merry! It makes me so happy! He's practically my favorite character. And daLuca, there will most definitely be a Merry/Treebeard chapter. I don't know how I'm going to do it. But I'll make it happen. *devilish smirk* 

  
  


Llinos, there will definitely be Merry/Eowyn coming up soon. Oh, and I need to whore out your fic now just cuz I love it so much. I hope that's okay. Everyone should go read Llinos's Recaptured II! It's my favorite fic ever! It really is good times

  
  


Albino Black Sheep, of course I'm going to write a Frodo/Sam. The Slash Appendices just wouldn't be the Slash Appendices without those two! 

  
  


Artemis15, Thanks for the great review and for the grammar corrections. I really do need to work on the grammar and spelling. And I'm glad you liked chapter 1. BTW, love your pen name. Artemis is the greatest deity ever!

  
  


Lady Tsunu, There's your Legolas/Gimli. Hope you enjoyed it. They're my favorite pairing too!

  
  


Kayloo and Greetings from Mordor, thanks for the reviews. I appreciate it!


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